Disturbia
by Drucilla Havok
Summary: The Momochi twins ocs are bickering and their older brother, Zabuza, comes out to shut them up but finds himself disturbing them into silence. Mentioned Hidan/Zabuza/Haku action. Crack fic of doom. Read and Review.


A/N: Bored. That's all I have to say. Really bored and decided to write to pass the time.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto but I do own my ocs. I wish I owned Naruto, then I wouldn't be so bored.

I sat there, looking at the clock. I was bored and my sister was taking forever.

The black haired girl sauntered out of the bathroom unnoticed so she decided to do something that would be considered stupid, she snuck up behind me and draped her arms around my neck.

I let out a gasp of shock, flipped Saru over my head, and put my barefoot on my sister's firm stomach. "Fucking God damn it, Nii-chan!" I exclaimed. Sometimes, I truly wondered just how smart she really was.

"Leave HIM out of this, Shai-nii-chan! Fucking fuck fuckerson!" the Kiri-nin exclaimed. I looked at her in confusion and contempt but then noticed that she landed on a shard of glass. How that happened, I have no idea.

"Well, don't go sneaking up on me, dipshit!" I warned her. I was not in the mood to be nice.

"Fuck, I'm bleeding! Fucking bitch, you caused this!" she whined.

I smirked and decided to make things worse. "Blood is no reason to have sex."

Saru sat up quickly, fire blazing in her dark eyes. "That's not what I fucking meant, bitch."

"I'm not your bitch."

She clenched her fist and lunged at me. I dodged and drew my sword. "Saru, you have a choice, calm down and let me take care of it, or let me make you bleed worse," I warned my twin through clenched teeth.

Saru drew her sword and swung it at me. I parried. Before I could take out a kunai to stab her, our older brother waltzed out of his room - naturally, he was shirtless.

"If you two are going to fight, take it outside so Haku and me don't have ta hear it," he growled. I noticed that the bandages on his mouth were removed.

Curiosity hit me like a ton of bricks. "What were you two doing?" after the question poured out of my mouth, I realized I really did not want to know and the glint in my brother's eyes confirmed such but his words did not.

"Playing Yu-Gi-Oh and he was kicking my ass," he simply stated.

I almost face-palmed until Haku came out. He was naked, and Yu-Gi-Oh cards were stuck to him everywhere and especially his privates. "Zabuza-san, can we get back to our game?" he asked in a sultry tone.

I could see that Saru was gagging at the sight and knew that she understood the kinky things they had been doing with the cards. She dropped her sword and didn't notice when mine accidentally cut her before I dropped it. Never in my eighteen years had I thought of that until then and I was the second kinkiest out of my friends! I couldn't fathom how they came up with that. Then I asked the question that doomed my mind, "Why do you have cards stuck to your body and how were you kicking Zabby's ass in Yu-Gi-Oh?"

"I won the first game playing it the normal way and Zabuza-san decided to get creative, so he started screwing me with cards. I have a few paper cuts," he explained as he shrugged his bare shoulders, "I rolled him onto his back and was on top when he heard his sweet little sisters fighting and went out to see why."

"But… but… Zabuza has his pants on…" I managed to say through the disturbed state of my mind.

My sister dropped to the floor in fetal position and whispered, "Happy place, happy place," over and over again. Her mind was on overload.

"I threw them on, they're actually Haku's," my brother blushed.

I knew something was up, Haku never wore pants –I don't think he ever owned a pair to begin with- and he was more my size than my brother's; in short, Haku's pants would be too small on him if he had any. I glared at my brother, "The truth?" I looked at him expectantly.

"They're Hidan's. We were having a threesome," he admitted.

I had enough, my brain was starting to shut down but I refused to get as disturbed as my twin. "Go back into your room before my brain commits suicide," I ordered as I pointed to his room.

I learned a valuable lesson, don't ask your sibling a questions – especially if said sibling is Zabuza Momochi.

A/N: Reveiw or I'll have Haku, Zabuza and Hidan rape Yu-Gi-Oh cards at your house.


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